Hegins, an afterword
by Stuart Chaifetz

This was my fourth year there, and I have to say that I think this was the most violent year, in regards to the way the shooters and their supporters acted.

I had a few run ins with some of these people. One situation happened when a pigeon was in a tree and a shoot supporter was waiting for the bird to fall down so he could kill him. Our initial confrontation got a little heated, with them threatening to smash my camera in my face.

Our standoff lasted quite a while. We actually spent some time talking and I was curious to see if there was any way to make contact with any piece of decency inside them. I think I pretty much gave up on that idea when we got to the issue of wife beating and they really weren't too upset with that.

A little while later another pigeon flew in from the field, over our heads and onto the roof of the concession stand behind us. He took off as fast as he could, and I followed. I thought that the bird was safe for the moment, and I took out my camera to film the scene. Sadly, the bird must have been in worse shape than he looked, because he fell from the roof, and right into the hands of the awaiting killer.

I wish that I could show you the smile on his face. It was the type of smile that any normal person would have when you are in love, or when your child is born, and this man had it because he had just crushed the life out of a defenseless little animal.

Looking into his eyes, I found nothing. His heart was barren of compassion, and he lacked any type of morality. He was a husk with no soul.

It was the same feeling that I got when I looked into the eyes of the young boys whose job, and pleasure it was to kill the wounded birds. I remember turning to the activist next to me and told them to look at the boy, and see a life that was destroyed before it ever had a chance to live. A life that had all compassion burned out of it before it had a chance to grow.

Seeing people like this can do strange things to you. It can make you lose your faith in humanity. It can make you cry. It can even fill the most non-violent person with the most violent desires.

For me, the latter held true. I strongly believe in non-violence, but everything I held inside of me was pushed to its limits.

This happened to me during an incident when an activist walked past me carrying a wounded bird. I turned my head to watch her, and then I saw a man go to her side and reach for the bird she was holding in her chest. It was the same man who had killed the bird in front of me an hour before. And, he had that same smile on his face.

About four of us rushed to her, and formed a blockade around her and the bird. A very close friend of mine put herself in front of the killer and kept him away from the bird. I remember that smile he had, and his unwavering attempts to kill the wounded bird in the women's arms. I was enraged. My body became filled with a deep raging fire, and I remember saying to myself that there was no way in hell that I was going to allow him to kill this little soul.

I do not know what would have happened if he had grabbed the bird from the women holding her, or if he had hurt my friend who kept him away.

I know what I would have felt like doing.

I wish I could end this by saying that we got the bird to safety, and she is alive and happy, but I cannot. We did get through the gauntlet of awaiting killers, but the poor creature had been so badly wounded that she died when we got her to our people waiting to care for her.

I can only hope that the little soul realized that she died in the arms of a person who, while only knowing her for a brief time, loved her anyway.

We all take something away from events like Hegins. For me, one thing was this resurgence of hate and anger that filled me. It is now over 36 hours since that last event happened, and I am still filled with anger when I see that killers eyes in my mind. But, it's getting better, and I'm now able to see clearly what the true lesson is of Hegins.

It's about Love. It's also about the lack of love. It's the difference between two people locked in conflict over a life, one filled with love for it, the other so lacking love, that it needs to destroy it.

Many people will lose their faith in human kind because of Hegins. I have found mine because of it. Not in the hearts of the lurking killers there, but in the hearts of all the wonderful people who have dedicated themselves to the defense of all those thousands of innocent beings. I am humbled before the courage of all those women who withstood the sexual harassment of the killers there, and yet didn't blink an eye because saving lives meant so much to them. I feel honored to have shared the company of all those brave, caring people, and I am so glad that I didn't act out my violent feelings that would have disgraced all that they have worked for.

Non-violence has meant so much to me in the past few years, and I was deeply concerned by how violent my feelings were yesterday, and how they would effect me from now on. There is only one answer for that, and that it I am more dedicated to non-violence than ever before. If I am so disgusted by the violence of the people of Hegins, then how can I emulate those feelings in myself? I won't allow that to happen. I can't.

I know that there will be those people who revel in killing who will post messages here glorifying the massacre at Hegins.

Don't get angry at them, feel pity for them. Feel pity because they are so jealous of you being able to feel so much, when they can feel so little. See what their remarks really are. Its not the glory of anything, its the sadness of their own cruelty.

I want to end this by thanking everyone who was out there for the pigeons. It was an honor to be among you. I can only hope that we never have to do it again, and that the next time we meet its in the celebration of an end to this monstrous slaughter.

Stuart Chaifetz