HEC Hoosier Environmental Council
To: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture
My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells Iowa, received a cheque for $1,000 from
the government for not raising hogs. So I want to go into the 'not raising
hogs' business next year.
What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to
raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be
sure that I approach this endeavour in keeping with all governmental policies.
I would prefer not to raise razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to
raise, then I will just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs.
As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping an accurate
inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.
My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of the business. He has
been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was
$422 in 1968, until this year when he got your check for $1000 for not raising
If I get $1000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2000 for not raising 100
hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about
4000 not raised, which will mean about $80,000 the first year. Then I can
afford an airplane.
Now another thing, these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of
corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn and wheat.
Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to feed the 4000
hogs I am not going to raise?
Also, I am considering the 'not milking cows' business, so send me any
information you have on that too.
In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be totally unemployed
and plan to file for unemployment and food stamps.
Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election.