Jing Hallander
Email address: [email protected]

I am a Timneh African Grey parrot, with a pet human named Jane. I let Jane use my internet account, only because I use the hunt and peck method of typing and it just takes too long to post messages. I'm a Human Behavior Consultant and featured columnist for The Grey Play Round Table, writing the popular Pet Human Report. Each month I will print one of my published columns on this page.


      Throughout my years of research and study into human behavior I have come to realize that our pet humans are not the big parrot-like creatures we so often think of them as, often referred to by some pet human behaviorists as 'Pappies'. Instead, I now know there is a strong similarity between humans and penguins.

     That's right, people and penguins are so similar they could almost be the same species. It makes me wonder if the human race isn't really descended from the same ancestors as are penguins.

     Jane has a book so old that it doesn't even have a publishing date, named The History Of Birds. Here is this ancient book's description of penguins:

     "…they walk erect and are very stupid. From the extreme shortness of their wings, they are altogether incapable of flying. They swim with great swiftness; and are fortified against the effects of a long continuance in the cold water by an abundance of fat. All of the penguins, while swimming sink above the breast, the head and neck only appearing out of the water; and they row themselves along with their finny wings as with oars. They hatch their young ones in an erect position and cackle like geese."

     Now, ask yourself, does this sound like our pet humans or not?

     Here are some other amazing similarities:

     1) They dress alike and both behave as if the feathers and clothes they wear make them special.

     2) They both live in large colonies, called 'cities' for the humans, each with their own plot or territory within the colony.

     3) Both species like to stand around in groups and talk endlessly without accomplishing anything.

     4) Both species walk upright and neither can fly.

     Of course, I'm not sure I'd characterize humans as 'stupid'. However it is well known fact that they don't come close to the intelligence levels of the average African grey parrot. There is no question about it, when you compare humans to other bird species the resemblance to penguins is, to my humble grey mind, uncanny.