Why wouldn't the parrot talk to the Frenchman?
Because he only spoke pigeon English.

My parrot lays square eggs.
That's amazing! Can it talk as well?
Yes, but only one word.
What's that?
Ouch!

How do you know you are haunted by a parrot?
He keeps saying "Oooo's a pretty boy then?"

What do you get if you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie-talkie.

"I'd like a cheap parrot, please," an old lady said to a pet shop owner.
"This one's cheap and it sings The Star-Spangled Banner."
"Never mind that," said the customer. "Is it tender?"

Miss: Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage?
Stella: For a parrot to perch on, miss.


Did you hear that Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler Crackers are going to merge...
They are going to become Polly Warner Cracker!


A guy went into a pub with a pink parrot on his shoulder, his suit was pink, his shirt was pink, his shoes and socks were pink, he had a pink tie and he was topped of with a pink hat.
    A chap at the bar says "where did you get him from"
    The parrot replies "I got him from a junk shop"!


What do you call a parrot who goes out in the rain wearing a mac and carrying an umbrella?
    Polyunsaturated!
What do you call a dead parrot?
    Polygon!
What do parrots take for headaches?
    Parrotcetamol!
Where is parrot heaven?
    Parrotdise!
What do you call a whole pile of budgies, parrots, macaws, cockatiels all in one cage?
    Polyglot!
What is a parrots favorite sport?
    Parrotgliding!