Humor, Fun > Humor - Index

Just this side of Roswell, New Mexico is a place that connects Heaven and Earth called the Rainbow Playbridge. This is where companion animals go when they die, or when they are just fed-up with humans in general.

At the Rainbow Playbridge there are hills and valleys and meadows and trees and shrubs and fire hydrants and litter boxes and garbage and roadkill for all our special friends so they can run and play together. The old and frail animals are made young and healthy. Young and healthy animals are made into zygotes. Those who were maimed are made whole again; those who were whole, are maimed, but only a little bit. Karmic Balance is maintained. There is plenty of food and water and sunshine and high-grade pharmaceuticals to keep our friends comfortable and warm and as stoned as they want to be as they fly and stumble and play and tremble in excitement each day.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, someone they left behind on Earth. Some member of Homo Sapiens who forgot to clip their wings, or secure their leash, or close the damned front door. Someone Special who is going to get what's coming to them, heh-heh-heh-heh.

Each day, they run and play together, and then one day, an animal suddenly stops and peers towards the horizon. Bright eyes are intent; an eager body begins to quiver. A victim has been spotted!

When you and your special friend meet, you cling together in a joyous reunion never to be parted again -- or so you think. Then the biting begins, and the scratching, and the clawing, and the tearing of flesh. Blood trickles down your face; your hands will never work again, and you stare in horror at the malevolent eyes of your "friend," so long gone from your life but who never forgot your stupidity.

Then you are tossed off the Rainbow Playbridge, to whatever awaits you in the Afterlife, and the animals scurry away in glee, finally released from their loathing for your sorry soul, free to enjoy their little corner of Heaven in peace.