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Ten Reasons Why I'm Opposed to Animal Experiments

#1. I'm a great believer in informed consent. Animals are neither informed nor do they consent.

#2. If what we seek to learn is directly beneficial to the animal, that is a happy byproduct. It is almost never the goal.

#3. Animals, who cannot speak or understand human speech suffer more, not less, precisely because they lack the mediation of language that can explain the duration of the suffering, its intensity, and its reason. No animal, I would guess, has ever understood the purpose of an experiment.

#4. When I look at those experiments in psychology that I can understand, I see that what they proved was something already known to commonsense - that you can make a dog give up hope, that an infant monkey prefers his real mother to a wire surrogate.

#5. Despair and loneliness is, in my view, more intensely felt by animals than it is by human animals. Who can look into the eyes of a dog in head injury experiments, and not be overwhelmed by the degree of incomprehension. Even in these circumstances, dogs do not blame us. This inability to correctly assess our motives is tragic for the life of the dog. It is a nobility beyond what we can recognize in our own species.

#6. The mind of the vivisector is not a place I wish to visit, nor would I want to explore his dreams. When his karma has ripened, I would hate to be there to pick it.

#7. Some scientists enjoy the suffering they witness.

#8. Some scientists do not enjoy the suffering they witness, but they do it anyway.

#9. Some scientists who do not enjoy the suffering and do not do the experiments, nevertheless stand by silently while their colleagues do it. By not voicing their dissent, they are complicit in the creation of the suffering that they deplore.

#10. What do we teach students when they see men in white coats laughing at a monkey in despair, or when they watch their professors invade the body of an immobilized animal in their attempt to learn about human aggression?

Ten Reasons Why Animals are Superior to Research Scientists

#1. Animals never conduct painful experiments on members of other species.

#2. Animals are not curious about the results of painful experiments on members of other species.

#3. Animals do not go on Oprah to push their books -- whoops! wrong list!

#4. Animals do not confine other animals in small cages so that other animals can view them, dissect them, maim them, or eliminate them.

#5. Animals do not occupy their time inventing speciesist reasons why they are superior to the animals they destroy.

#7. Animals do not hide what they do in underground fortresses.

#8. No animal believes you can discover the origins of animal unhappiness by drilling holes into the brains of other animals.

#9. Animals do not believe there is such a thing as mental illness.

#10. Animals do not list the ten reasons why they are superior to animal scientists.