Humor, Fun > Humor - Index

Apparently the Parrot
by Garry J. Wallan

When the cat is acting nervous
And is running 'round the floor;
And the dog is softly whining
In the closet by the door;
Not an earthquake nor a twister
Could have brought this to the fore;
It's apparent that a parrot
Has been evening the score!

Fluffy, with her cat toys
Liked to frolic until twilight;
Her playtime was all daytime
Mixed with napping in the sunlight;
Chasing Polly was a new game
Of instinctive feline insight;
But apparently the parrot
Took exception, then a big bite!

Rover was a good dog;
Friend to creatures strong and weak;
Guardian, protector,
Faithful canine, hale and sleek;
One day he ventured over,
Into Polly's cage to peek,
And apparently the parrot
Gave him Screech and Claw and Beak!

"Polly's *just* a dumb bird,"
My friends are prone to spew,
But that tender appellation's
Not for budgie, 'tiel, or 'Too.
Nor any other psittacine;
They rule the world, it's true!
It's apparent that my parrot,
Has just put me in her zoo.

They can greet the day like cherubs,
Chirp and tweet so daintily,
And then rend the peace like warheads,
Fitted hypersonically.
They utter words and phrases,
Sometimes most loquaciously,
It's apparent that the parrots,
Learn quite well from you and me.

The Tornadic Winged Maelstrom,
The Snapping Beak of Death,
The simple sharp profanity
Of jalapeno breath;
The snuggles and the antics,
Using language from the heart;
It's apparent that with parrots,
Contradiction is an art.

This house was once a haven,
Safe for human, dog and cat.
Until the Mighty Parrot,
Came and messed-up all of that.
Now the Winged One is Master,
And an Angel, and a Brat.
It's apparent that our parrots,
Have performed a coup d'etat.