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Funny Internet Chats

Bill: get up

Sally: get on up

Bill: get up

Sally: get on up

and DANCE

nmp3bot dances :D-<

Hollow: i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

YOU ALL SUCK DICK

er.

hi.

A common typo.

the keys are like right next to each other.

John: hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars

John: ********* see!

Sam: hunter2

Sam: doesn't look like stars to me

John: *******

John: thats what I see

Sam: oh, really?

John: Absolutely

John: you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2

Sam: haha, does that look funny to you?

John: lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******

Sam: thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that

John: yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******

Sam: awesome!

Sam: wait, how do you know my pw?

John: er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw

Sam: oh, ok.

Blade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

bunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me

Stan23: why?

bunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a fire truck turn into the street in front of us.

bunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neighbor's house was on fire!

Stan23: oh shit!

bunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever

bunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....

bunny87: talk about bad timing...

VolteFace: don't you hate it when you shit on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it.
peng: what?
VolteFace: oh shit
VolteFace: don't you hate it when you DROP shit

Beeth: Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
honx: well, you can still get one from a strange country :-)

DaZE: at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i don't get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyone's getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4

Raven: I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
Raven: It said my password wasn't long enough. :(

benja: A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
benja: The survey was a huge failure...
benja: In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
benja: In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
benja: In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
benja: In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
benja: In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
benja: In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
benja: And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant

kyourek: There was a 23% drop in temperature.
nappyjallapy: That's almost 25%!
kyourek: ... That was one of the most worthless comments I've ever heard.