What's Your FURociousness Quotient?

How do YOU confront cavepeople? Take the quiz and find out if you're a FURocious Frannie, a Straightforward Steven, or a Meek Millie!

1. You open the door to greet the latest arrivals to your dinner party and discover one of your guests is cloaked in 60 minks. You say:

a. "I'm sorry. I don't allow fur in my house. Could you leave it in your car please?"
b. "You must have the wrong address. The mausoleum is down the street."
c. "Hello." You don't want to offend a guest, so you spend the whole evening silently fuming.

2. In the ticket line to a movie, you see a woman ahead of you wearing fur. You:

a. start up a conversation within hearing distance about the gruesome facts of fur.
b. hand her a fur card and say, "I'd appreciate it if you'd read this."
c. fantasize about dumping your cherry soda all over her, but when the movie's over, your mission is still unaccomplished.

3. Strolling through town, you see that soon-to-be relic of the past: a fur store. You:

a. try on numerous coats, leaving fur cards in the pockets for the next shopper to find.
b. return that evening to glue shut the locks on the store's entrance.
c. enter the store, determined to give the manager a piece of your mind, but when he approaches you, you lose your nerve and scurry out.

4. A local civic group is giving away a fur in a raffle. You:

a. call or write the raffle committee to explain how foxes and minks are killed on farms and in traps and offer alternative prize ideas.
b. let the media know that you and your friends will be showing up at the raffle wearing a banner--and nothing else -- that says, "We'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur."
c. nothing -- you don't want to be perceived as a troublemaker.

5. You confront a fur-wearer on the street, and she screeches, "Your shoes are leather, aren't they?" You:

a. say, "There's no excuse for wearing fur" and refuse to let her shift the focus away from her fur-wearing.
b. show off your fashionable canvas espadrilles as you reach toward her coat with a "Fur Hurts" sticker, and -- whoops! She's running down the street.
c. mumble that your shoes are synthetic but feel you've lost the battle anyway--you don't know how to get the conversation back onto fur.

6. A coworker divulges that her late aunt bequeathed a "ranched" sable to her. You:

a. say, "How unfortunate. Are you going to donate it to an anti-fur group?"
b. say, "I hope you know animals on fur farms are kept in tiny filthy cages, with no stimulation, for months and are killed by suffocation, neck breaking, or genital electrocution.
c. change the subject.

7. Talking with your neighbor about fur one day, he says, "I have some fur trim on my jacket, but I'd never buy a fur coat. That's different." You:

a. say, "Actually, trim keeps the fur industry going."
b. shove a photo of a starved and abused fox in his face and say, "Do you think it would make a difference to him that he was 'only' being used for trim?"
c. nod.

8. Your local newspaper does a fashion spread on fur. You:

a. write a letter to the editor saying that compassion is the fashion.
b. send the fashion editor a video showing foxes having their necks snapped (borrow one free from PETA).
c. use the article for fire kindling, while quietly cursing the reporter.


How'd you score?
Give yourself
1 point for each (a) answer,
2 points for each (b) answer,
0 points for each (c) answer.

12-16: FURocious Frannie. You never pass up a chance to let fur-wearers know they belong in the Dark Ages. You sometimes come on a wee bit strong, but you get your message across!

6-11: Straightforward Steven. You rarely lose your cool because you know you're right. Fur-wearers don't stand a chance against your no-nonsense, practical explanations of why fur is unacceptable.

0-5: Meek Millie. You'd like to be on the front lines, but you've got a bad case of stagefright. To let fur-wearers know their choice of outerwear is outdated, you don't have to be outrageous, just a little assertive -- remember, the spotlight is on their behavior, not yours! Try simply saying, "Shame!" as you pass fur-wearers.

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