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1. "Just kidding, I am NOT going to feed you
to the elves. Hahaha!"
2. Chinese kid recognizes the lead lead paint on that candy
 cane facsimile manufactured in China right away and freaks.

Jimmy Carter
This is your brain on Republicanism.

1. "Forgive me father for I have sinned"
"Tell me about it, my child"
"You're sitting on it right now"
2. The Catholic church has begun looking in new areas to
alleviate the shortage of candidates for priesthood.

"These cheap implants are so heavy, I can barely sit up straight."