A Team of Nappy-Haired Hos

I was once a big fan of Don Imus. Still am.

Tim Russert interviewed the I-Man on December 15th, 2001, (CNBC's "Tim Russert Show"), and the subject turned to diet.

Russert had offered Imus a hot dog to eat, and Imus responded with this comment:

Imus: I have not had one in over a year. Because first of all, it's full of carcinogens. That's one. If you knew how this stuff was made, and you knew how they tortured animals when they killed them to make meat, you'd never eat that stuff. We have a cattle ranch in New Mexico for these kids with cancer and they see - we don't serve- it's an entirely vegan diet. No dairy products.

Russert: So you don't eat meat.
Imus: No, not at all.
Russert: None.
Imus: None.

Later on in the interview, Russert asks about Imus's son, Wyatt.

Imus: And when I stopped eating dairy products, I really felt better.
Russert: Now, has Wyatt ever been to McDonald's?
Imus: No.
Russert: Never. (Imus nods agreement). Does he know what McDonald's is?

Imus: Uh...(thinks a while). Well I guess - I don't know whether he does or not. We've driven by it, but-
Russert: Does he have any interest in having a hamburger?
Imus: No.
Russert: He has soy balls.

Imus: Oh yeah, but they're veggie burgers and stuff and they're actually, actually terrific. And my kid, because he's eating healthy, and he's had a couple of soy burgers or whatever the hell he's had for breakfast, feels great and is on an even keel all day and he's not uh- you know he's 3 1/2 years old and he doesn't take naps and he goes to bed at 10:00 o'clock and he's never been sick a day in his life (knocks on his head).

Don Imus would occasionally use his morning talk show as a forum to talk about the dangers of mercury in vaccines, and I found his advocacy for such issues admirable. He promoted soymilk and vegetarianism, and I wish that there were more media men like him.

Anyway...back to them hos.

New York State dairymen raise and milk nappy-haired Holsteins. These animals are not hos. They are abused ladies who suffer numerous indignities during their lives, from the act of artificial insemination with a farmer's arm inserted up to his shoulder in her anus, while his free hand pokes around on the exterior and injects a straw filled with semen into the proper position. She then births her child and that child is stolen from her. She is milked three times each day and on one of those days she is separated from her herd and driven for many hours to a slaughterhouse to have her head stunned with a bolt from a powerful gun and then have her throat slit so that she gurgles to death on blood which sprays down her throat into her lungs and then fills a 55-gallon drum while she hangs upside down from a link of chain attached to her leg.

She is no ho. She is an abused victim who suffers the conspiracy of multiple crimes from many participating criminals. While her heart still beats and her brain registers its final thoughts, her nappy-haired skin is then peeled inside-out from her own bloody muscles.

The hos are the dairy farmers and the politicians who rape unsuspecting taxpayers by unjustly awarding the criminals.

New York State dairy farmers will soon be getting cash gifts thanks to a $30 million addition to this year's budget by State Senator James L. Seward.

Isn't that grand? So as not to understate the incredible absurdity of this entire act, it's very grand, indeed! Fifteen grand, to be exact. Fifteen thousand dollars of charity tax dollars paid by New York State taxpayers to New York's finest group of hos.

The New York budget does not include any bonuses for butchers, bakers, or candlestick makers. Nothing for cops or firefighters or teachers either.

The New York State Senate rationalizes the payments because of high fuel costs. Well, gee whiz (not cheese whiz), don't others have high fuel costs too? How about people who refinanced their homes with those criminal adjustable rate mortgage scams? The ones whose homes are now being foreclosed? What do they get? A pat on the back, a good luck, fella.

How can we teach the lessons of dignity to our children when we condone abuses to the defenseless? The simple answer is that we cannot.

Don Imus made a career-ending mistake. He forgot the one principle which governs those who perform in comedy clubs containing millions of critics. The media exists not as a vehicle to provide entertainment. A television or radio show has only one purpose, and that purpose is that it exists to fill time between commercials. Imus forgot for a moment what his primary role was. He is guilty as sin and now must pay the price.

Forget fot the moment that each summer, thousands of inner-city young people spend a week or two on the Imus ranch learning a lesson or two about things which really matter. In that way, Imus touches lives and will continue to do so by offering a moment of dignity to those whose lives are spent suffering unfair episodes of having been born as one of the unfortunates. In the real world, Imus shreds that fabric of reality and re-weaves it into the quilt of optimism. This is the man who took a very cheap shot at some very lovely women who deserved nothing but praise for their accomplishments. Such is the nature of a stand-up comic who works his audience with great jokes and cheap jokes, with brilliant monologues and clever witticisms and occasional groaners that only drunks find funny.

Imus told a joke and nobody applauded. The joke erased all of the good because all the world is a stage, and for one brief shining moment, the I-Man stood naked for the world to see. As one bystander after another cast stones of various sizes, the man was brought to his knees, and then he fell to the floor and died. Such is the nature of a 21st-century execution. We are both the executioner and the victim.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk. com
i4crob@earthlink. net