My Letter from Melvin
"You and your organization, if you can call it that, are all crazy and more than likely all hippy freak idiots. this propaganda is more likely driven by a bunch of vegetarian zealots. If people were not supposed to consume animals and their by-products, God would not have put them here under our dominion in the first place. Drop dead you freak."
I take no joy in receiving nasty letters, but those containing any form of the word "dead" are given special attention.
Melvin was thoughtful enough to send his message using his work Email address. I phoned his office and spoke to Tina, who described herself as the office "systems manager."
I asked Tina whether Melvin was supposed to be working in his office at 11:27 AM when the message was sent, or was he enjoying his recess or play time period.
In any event, I was assured that the owner of Kellner Mortgage Company would get a copy of Melvin's letter.
When one pretends to know what God wants or does not want, I would expect that he or she is familiar with the original plan set forward in the beginning (Genesis) in a perfect world for man (the Garden of Eden).
In the same breath in which Melvin tells me to drop dead, he skillfully uses another "d" word, dominion.
Melvin is correct. In Genesis 1:28, God blesses Adam and Eve and invites them to be fruitful and multiply. He directs them to replenish the earth, and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over every living creature that moves upon the earth.
But wait! God was not finished. In the next verse, God reveals:
"Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat."
To Melvin and all of the Melvins of this world, let it be known. I do not blindly obey God's original plan because it is so written. I obey that plan because it is the right thing to do. I have found that advice to be the smartest nutritional plan for any human. I have found Genesis 1:29 to be the most compassionate way for me to live my life.
Therefore, I do not curse Melvin. Nor do I wish him to drop dead as he does me (while citing God).