DAY 11: Stumpy & Bunny's Top 10 Lists
& Twas the Night Before Christmas
Top Ten Reasons it Sucks to Be
Huntingdon Life Sciences
10. People move
away from you, when you ride on elevators or escalators and no one will
carpool with you.
9. Your customers bury their relatives in unmarked
graves to avoid losing the remains of former loved ones.
8. Someone burns
down the hunting lodge of the CEO of one of your biggest customers.
a-a-a-w-w-w, so SAD.
7. Another day, another animal rights group, another
lawsuit. How many open cases do you have, HLS???
6. You have to train
your customers and suppliers on how to pretend that they don't live at their
5. You need therapy after the undertaker comes for your
body, only problem is you are not dead yet.
4. You have so many hidden
Cayman Island accounts that you can't secure a corporate line of credit.
3. Everyone on Wall Street really does think you have STUPID written across
2. Your kids go vegan & join the protests, while your
companion animals want to go home with the protesters
1. After spending
years fighting to get back on the New York Stock Exchange, you have to
convince everyone it was really your idea to leave the New York Stock
Top Ten Reasons You Know You
Are an Effective Activist
10. Your protests draw more police officers than
9. Police officers start cracking their knuckles and
stroking their batons when they see you on the street.
8. Your stack of
lawsuits is taller than you are.
7. You consider jail time a time to rest
and recharge your batteries, not to mention the free healthcare.
order your favorite brands of spray paint, crazy glue and 'Liquid Ass' in
5. Your file has it's own personal file cabinet at FBI
4. Your favorite hat converts into a balaclava with a
3. You can't get a bullhorn permit for protests, because your
voice is considered a dangerous weapon.
2. You get upgraded from domestic
eco-terrorist to international eco-terrorist.
1. You are banned from more
countries than Osama Bin Laden.
Twas the Night
Before Christmas at HLS
night before Christmas and all through the lab
Not a creature was
stirring, not even a crab.
All the lab coats were hung, in their lockers
With hopes that no one would know, what goes on in there.
Then what did I see, when I next looked out back
But a crew dressed in
black, with sacks on their backs.
One motioned to others with quick
clever hand signals
"Start taking the beagles from their cold lonely
And faster than you can say the letters A-L-F
through the labs liberating the rest.
First beagles, then kitties, then
hamsters and rats
Then guinea pigs, rabbits, veal calves, birds and bats.
They opened the cages and let every single one out
As they smashed it all
up, they started to shout:
"Baker, Cass, Bibi and Michaelson too
you don't cut it out, we will do this to you!"
But before they could
leave they had one more chore
That this lab couldn't function they had to
They must put an end to this nasty pain whore
So they took all
their timers and gas cans galore
And they set it all up, to go off with a
With the critters now safe and free from their pain
purred and played as bad memories waned.
One of the masked ones was then
heard to say,
as they climbed over fences and melted away'.
you torture and kill any more,
we'll be back with C-4 and you'll pay
then for sure"
by Camille Hankins, WAR - Xmas 2005
Join us in lifting a glass of yuletide cheer or vegan
egg nog to toast the season and those who have dedicated their spirits to
protecting Mother Earth and all of her inhabitants, human and non-human. We
are all brothers and sisters, sharing this planet, and we need to protect
one another. Let us hope that next year peace and joy will reign our planet.