In response to
both written surveys and verbal exercises in compassion
fatigue workshops I've conducted, involving several hundred
shelter employees since 1995, the number one reason people
have given over and over again for doing this work is "because
I love animals." As truly honorable and noble as this
motivation is, it can go awry. Sincere love and compassion can
give way to unhealthy boundaries. Dedication can turn into
co-dependency. Empathy can become enmeshment. Commitment can
turn into overcommitment and fatigue.
One of the
most powerful things we can do to keep our love, compassion,
empathy, dedication and compassion healthy and alive, for both the
animals and ourselves, is to periodically examine our own beliefs
and reasons for doing this work. Take a look at the statements below
and use them as a gauge to see how your own thoughts and beliefs may
be contributing to either compassion fatigue or inner
peace.
Thoughts and
Beliefs Which contribute to Compassion Fatigue
Write in the
blank area next to each statement whether the statement relates to
you in the present, in the past, both, or leave blank if not
relevant:
_______ 1. I
love and care for animals more than myself.
_______ 2. I
take on the animals' suffering (OR I close myself off from feeling
anything).
_______ 3. I
feel compelled to rescue every one, make it all better, fix it and
solve the problems for every animal. I feel like a failure when I
can't.
_______ 4.
Nobody else could do just what I'm doing as good as I do it, or
cares enough to do what I do, so I must do it all.
_______ 5. By
focusing all my helping energy on the animals' pain and trauma I
avoid facing and working on my own issues in need of
healing.
_______ 6. My
heart goes out to abused, neglected, and unwanted animals because I
know what this feels like. I don't want them to hurt_ so if I give
all my love to them, maybe I can feel better too. Sometimes I feel
almost addicted to helping them, fixing problems for them, and being
needed by the animals.
Thoughts and
Beliefs Which prevent & heal Compassion Fatigue
_______ 7. I
love and care for myself as much as I do the animals.
_______ 8. I
comfort animals and give my love and compassion to the animals; I
feel deep empathy for their pain but I don't take it on as my
own.
_______ 9. I
believe I can make a difference for many animals whose lives I
touch. Though sometimes sad and frustrated by the work, I still find
satisfaction in doing what I can. I accept that I can't help them
all, that there is a problem bigger than me. I am, however, proud to
be part of the solution.
_______ 10. I
feel useful and good about giving my skills, gifts, and competencies
for the animals. I feel good about giving back to the world by
helping the animals. And I know there are many others who help
also--I am not the only person who can help.
_______ 11. I
love and care deeply for the animals, and I also pay attention to my
own issues and strong feelings which need processing or
healing.
_______ 12. I
am aware of areas in my life where I didn't receive the nurturing,
love and care all beings, including me, need and deserve. While it
brings me great fulfillment to give these things to the animals, I
am careful to give myself, and seek for myself, nurturing, love and
care also.
Ideally, the
first set of statements would reflect our past, and the second set
of statements would reflect our present (and perhaps past also). A
few years ago at a conference where this exercise was used in a
workshop, a woman stood up afterwards and shared her reaction to it.
She said, "I've been in this business for more than twenty years.
Most of us start out with the first six of these statements being
how we operate. Then, over time, if we're lucky, we learn to work
from those second set of statements. I've seen my staff who can't
make that change and they burn out, burn out bad. We have to operate
from this second set (of statements), or we'll make ourselves
crazy."
I couldn't
agree more. And, some of us need some support and help in making
those changes. I believe that many people come to this life with a
deep, natural ability and desire to express compassion, empathy and
love, and that they give these gifts as service to the animals. In
being near many of these people in their professional and personal
lives over the years, I've also come to believe that those who came
here to give such compassion do that almost effortlessly. What does
not seem to come effortlessly is giving those gifts to ourselves--to
love and care for ourselves as well as we do those we serve. It
seems to be almost a right of passage for dedicated helpers to learn
to care for themselves as well as they do those they care so deeply
about. If this is an issue you are working on, an area in which you
want to grow, you may want to read the following helpful
books:
When Helping
You Is Hurting Me, Carmen Renee Berry HarperPaperbacks,
1988
Caregiver,
Caretaker, Caryn Summers, R.N. Commune-a-Key Publishing
1992
The
Caregiver's Book, Caring for Another, Caring for Yourself, James E.
Miller Augsburg Fortress 1996
